> "excuse me sir/madam? where are you going, please?"

415am. tons of things left to do for the shoot. 4 hours before i awake to carry on with the grind and leave my sanctuary, to "face the world"; to show what im made of ... and im so fcukin' tired im sure im gonna disappoint everyone, including myself. fcuk >:@"positivity" does not do well in my dictionary, nor in my Top-5-Personality-Traits-Chart."disappointment" ranks pretty much high up there. "

> home

and no, i have not showered yet. becoz depeche mode's home has been in my mind the whole of thursday, after watching their music videos on dvd the night prior ...and i love depeche mode so ... but that's another entry for another time ...HOMEfrom their album; ULTRAHere is a song from the wrong side of townWhere I'm bound to the ground by the loneliest soundAnd it pounds from within and is

> breathless

/ my only friend for the day: ye chair i bought from Ikea (as a prop), who accompanied me while i waited for my photographer to come ... slumped on it like a oiled-rag outside at the smoking area, puffing smokeclouds carelessly, cigarette dangling from numbed-fingers and me ready to snore at any given moment ... much to the delight of peeps whom eyed me with glee and surprise ... am always glad

> shoot

435am. i am fcuked. eyes wide opened / mind is mush / adrenaline's pumping / rigor mortis settling in. depeche mode videos screeching away beside me. depeche mode still rawks hard. anton corbijn rawks fcukinghard. . i can only wish to rawk as hard as him; if but for a miniscule fraction. i feel my eyes being gorged out / mind hammered by a feather mallet / passion shivering. and all i can do are

> 25/35/65

> 12,000

as i clicked unto my hit-counter, the number that flashed across the screen shocked me into silence - overnight, as i slept; 12,000 new hits had been recordered on my blog ... WAHLANEH!and then i woke up ...i hate surreal moments like that ... that state of mid-consciousness; a walking limbo between the dream world and the harsh "real world" ... laid in my bed for but a few moments, staring at

> i went to sungei road today and all i got was a toilet

heh.tis been a while since i pounded the dusty tarmac-ed lanes of Thieves' Street, better known to locals here as Sungei Road (Flea Market); an old familiar haunt of mine; for both work and pleasure ...* Insert Disclaimer = If you DON'T wanna read my longassed-story of Sungei Road And Me, ya can just cruise-on down to Basic Tips On How To Survive Sungei Road near the middle of this entry, fair

> being broke

many a times, i've heard from and/or read about various folks exclaiming about; "being broke" lah, cannot afford this and that lah yaddayaddayadda ... and most times it gets to me quite a bit; for it doesn't really seem that they are "broke" per se ... or maybe tis the many differing levels of "being broke" that i should aquaint myself with?The 3 Basic Levels Of "Being Broke"Level One:that the

> busy

/ and suddenly, i have things to do.

mr.gaiman and me

took me a hella time to get this "show" up and running, ever since i'd left it hanging last time round ... but it's done (for now) and there's even a quicktime video of him i made too (yes, i is such a geek *blergh*) ... tho there's actually still quite a bit i wanna go on about him, but i guess it'll stay within me, for now ... so view and read, if ya want ... tho t'would've been great if i knew

> search links

taking a break from the "real world", here are the weirdout search topics that linked to me this week:from so-net.jp:chubbymanfrom google: ezyvideomuscle relaxant lotionippt rt cancellationangryblogfantastic4's gamesandraliciousstills upgrading schemefrom technocrati:singapore navyxaxuesiarongkenny SPGgawd! i dunno what's happenin' on goggle, but they sure got their angles covered everywhere,

> crushed breadcrumbs

an obscure sunday noon awaited me as i leapedup from another round of dreams, so clear and yet so featherfaint; it hangs from the tip of my tongue and the corner of my mind ... the images taunting me so, moving in and out of focus and i've forgotten it so ... dammit ... and hence set the stage for yet another sunday in this life of mine ...realized not a lot of blogs are written on the weekends

> dance with me?

you know, tis gratifying to see your hit counter clocking in the numbers (tho i've not had that unique experience before ever, so hence can only "imagine" ;p), but with each hit, dunyou wonder WHO are these folks that pop by your site?(A) like-minded individuals, like my yourself? (you wish)(B) real-world friends (who are updated about your life)(C) fellow bloggers and cyber friends (most

> 7am

... am so tired of being *angry* ...

> friday nite pix

new pix uploaded fer free looks: of mundaneness / roof / spin... words to come later ... and seeing as im @ home on a friday night, tis gonna be a looooong-ass-post ... heh :)

have a smurfy day today

say it ain't so! and with a trilogy, no less! dang! ... and the world might turn out to be a smurfier-place after all! ... where hopefully the closest to a "terrorist", would only be the dreaded Gargamel ... and every one will be smurfing the net .... aaahhhh ... :pheck! i ain't knockin' it, yah? i think it is a smurfy-idea indeed ... tho i gotta go dredge dig up me old smurf-toys (IF i had any

> more than meets the eye

surfing thru the web lookin' fer some semblence of fun amidst (its THAT word again!) the blog-hacking-hoohas wif evil-troll-bloggers and the new London Bombings (we are ALL goin' ta shitte, we are! just you wait!), decided to track down transformer videos after scanning thru Andrew's entry, to have a looksee at how "far" it has made it's way til the now Dreamworks/Steven Spielberg's new project (

> overslept dreams i wish i could hack

do you believe in such a thing as "over-sleeping"?a lot of times peeps (me included, mind) think that we could "pay-back" lost sleep ... sleep deprived from us due to a variety of reasons and we vow to sleep "the whole day" to pay-back the hours lost prior ... and we rake in the hours unfettered? ... admittedly, at the initial juncture of my current jobless unemployed status quo, i had told

> snack of the gods

tis been a while since i've held a popcorn box, much less chewing-on and swallowing popcorn ... it has been a long while ... and it tasted muthafcukin~GOOD!even if it was a bit salty ... tho i like mine mixed: salted at the top and sweet at the bottom ... better still with melted butter > aaawwww man ... one fine day, i'll make my way back to Lido ... one day ...so i paid for the popcorn, while

> lashing out

in keeping with my masthead, indulge me as i rant on for a tad ...imagine three grown-ass-folks; all hitting/passing the thirties' mark (in age) ~ trying to arrange to go for a movie.one is unemployed and thrawls the www the entire muthafuckin' day.one is working and is in the office.and one is in a middle of a job interview.trying to arrange for a situation that'll suit all three became a task;

> sleeping sucks

the problem with sleep is, they tend to dilute the memory and dull the razor's edge off a blog entry.gave into the daylight when me $5-alarm clock chimmed-a-phantom 8am. rolled around me trusty bed for a good few moments (fcuked if i timed my rollin', innit? heh), mind fillingup nicely with a coupla wicked (or so i'd lurve to imagine myself to be capable of, ignorant fcuk is i) lines and blog

> instant reaction

sitting amidst a lone table lamp light for the last hour, after a supper-session with an old friend, soaking in the currently pseudo-supressed flaming contention brewing amidst the local blogscape (and i'd rather use that than "blogosphere" muahahaha) and thinking it is rather a "blogscape" becoz essentially, tis all flat, innit? not a degratory term, i insist, but rather a clearer description (

> phwah kaos

didn't sleep the entire night til 8am this morning (yes, am a new-millennium-vampire, only i dun suck blood) ... posted up a new video on oblivion and saundered out to the living room at 7am to read the newspapers (and hopefully to put me to sleep. heh), where i read thru the Digital Life section of ST and smiled at the surprising pages radiating positivity (as compared to the YAWN article) on

> voices

i can't seem to stop the "voices" in my head (cue opening tune of The Twilight Zone) ... multiple-voices; each clamouring to be heard, to have "their say" ... a mixed sensation of whispers and shouts (tho inevitably, ALL end up shouting lah) ... "I WANNA DO THIS!" ... "I WANNA DO IT FIRST!" ... "MY TURN MY TURN!" ... "NO, MINE! MINE!" ... "SHUT UP YA CUNT!" ... "NO! YOU SHUT UP

> my problem

i dunno whatdafcuk i was thinking .../

> of babes and tanks

... was sitting in a chinese restaurant (everything was tinted jade green), having both my thighs felt-up by this babe with long straight-hair, sitting just next to me ... her tender warm fingers edging their way up my quiverig thighs, up to my boxers, me closing my eyes softly ...then next thing ya know, im witnessing a humiliation (near rape) of a mechanic servicing a big-ass-army-tank (

> the hard way

as in life and everything; it always starts as a "fun" thing to do ... then gradually it slowly (but darn surely) degenerates into "It's not funny anymore" ... ... had spent a better part of 3hours between 3am-to-6am; doing-up lil' webbie-banners for the blogs i visit daily/often (refer all the way to bottom of page) = grabbing images, mucking about in photoshop, resizing them, hosting them on

> not fit for public consumption as yet

time now: 235pm. yes, i have chickened out decided not to partake of the blogger con ... realizing i am as stated on picture-right (dun ask where that pix came from, k? heh) and i wallow in my hidey-hole yet again and again and again ... let nicotine be thy companion instead ...am sure the net'll be buzzing with coverage by the end of the day and i would then partake of the festivities,

> nekkid

walked around the house with just a tee-shirt on (a short teeshirt too) ... sometimes with undies, most times not ... there were people milling around as well, mostly strangers ... t'was as if everyone was there in groups; completing school assignments amidst candle-light ... and there was a night parade happening outside the house as well. perched on the edge of the window like a wee boy, i

> demonride

im so agitated; i can't sleep. /

> bloggers.sg ~ to go or not to go

waking up at 5pm on a friday afternoon is a very surreal thing indeed. the grey skies hanging over the slowly swaying trees add to the dreamlike-state of everything living and non-living ... tho everything seems alive, except for myself ... sat infront of the computer even before brushing my mangled-teeth, i explore the many myriad corners of ze net, from my regular blog haunts to my own whoring

> wonderment in the aftermath of The NKF Saga

isn't it a wonder, that a scandal of one man bluffing mis~using charity money, can overshadow other world news like the tragic london bombings? or even closer to home's local brutal murders of the feetless-china-girl (NOT trying to be funny here) and the little 8 year-old girl? where even the recent transport hikes suddenly becomes non-existent? ... and of coz all I.R-talk is dried-up ... for now

> movie baton

a looooong-overdue baton by Ah9 ahahahaha ... thot t'would be good to liven things up abit around here (not that anyone cares, innit? HAH) ... and of coz, i'd just go slightly over-board with this lah! :pTotal Number of Films I own on DVD and Video:KAOS, i dvd-whore .... so letz just say, i gots plenty of bootleg legit dvds :) The Last Film I Bought:the 6th movie i made; Rice Rhapsody (VCD)Five

> Tis Not The Man But The Mentality : The NKF Saga Begins

i've resisted going-on about this NKF hooha, but itz gotten way out of hand for me to clam-up...Dear Mr. Clear-Entitlements-Ostentatiously,its not just about how much money you earn and of the bonuses you've received(work performance = monetary reimbursement is sumthing i too grapple with, in this cut-throat industry, tho obviously NOT at "that" level of pricing! *drool*)its not just about the

> out of sync

i sometimes wonder; why is there a need to communicate?. and of coz i know this question in itself is ridiculous and thoroughly stoopid, as i am trying right now to express it across to the masses of no one ... strangers even ... when i can't even talk properly with an ol' friend on the phone! ... twisted-tongues and a mushed-mind drawing a blurred-blank; or to be fair and precise (to gawd knows

> celluloid vs reality

... such a parallel it's freaking me out ...3am on a monday morning, after an exceptional movie by David Fincher; "The Game" ... and wanting to rave about it online, when i realized my personal website (andyheng.com) has been "cancelled". i've neglected the outstanding bill ... in place is this cold strange ambiguous message that jolts me out from my weathered-chair in my weathered room, from my

> move on

note to self: drop the torch ... move on.thank u for reading.

> moving images

... don't really have much use for words lately ... and tis not as if i have nothing to say, i still do and a heck alot of it too! ... but i figured my words have left me and the need to purge write; in the end, lost out to another form of "expression" ...near 2 weeks into rediscovering iMovie and it's basic abilities and qualities, and im stuck in a personal perpetual churning function, a

> this alien realm of mine

... this self-alienation, this gnawing-itch, this uncontrollable urge to ... create ... to create my own world, my own domain where i am lord of myself and of my own actions, where others and what they think matters naught, where sincerity is a virtue and not to be misunderstood. where concern for a fellow humanbeing is not a act of malice. where clarity resides in all thoughts and intentions ..

> bless the www

imagine this: spending an entire day and evening holed-up in my bedroom, doing-up me videos (which i will feature much later); not knowing what was happening to the world outside my window ... when i logged unto my multiply to find a fren-of-a-fren's journal heading: London Bombings - We Are Fine ... WTF? that was 7pm. had a call from me sis just a few minutes after asking about what had happened

a day of comics

i was lucky enough to be in the exceptional company of two fine gentlemen today: Neil Gaiman and Bruce Wayne.and that's all i can muster-up at this point in time, coz im pooped-out and me head's throbbing a gawdawful D&B (back-masked, no less) ~ probably from the gawdawful diet-coke me sis bought from GV ... more whining + complaining about the gawdawful mess that was the "brit-council-experience

> age old receipes in a box

digging thru the many boxes of memories these past few days, had put a lingering question on my mind: what am i doing? and why am i doing it? ... (okay, fine ~ 2 questions :p)"what am i searching for; by going thru the past?"it all started with my search for mini-DV-tapes (digital -video); for which i've been recently obsessed with ~ for mucking about in my iMovie ... and the search for Neil

> iEvolve

have been keeping pretty late nights past coupla days (understatement) ~ "busy" chillin' ... and involving myself with these pet personal projects:and> basically screwing around with concepts+ideas and iMovie (learning the basics anyways)! muahahahaha :p ... and it's just the begining ...unfortunately they're restricted to my multiply "network only" ... but a realization that most peeps (

> keepin' pace

walked with my dad to the neighbourhood central for dinner earlier in the evening ... just near the start of the walk; he asked me to slow down my pace, as he had trouble keeping up ... i froze for an instant (instantaneously cursing myself for forgetting about his heart problems) and apologized. he mentioned t'was okay and that his regular pace was faster as well ... as was mine ...from that

> friday 340pm

/... sorry, just woke up from a headful-o-dreams and my mind pounds so ... a new day greeted by the roar of friday-traffic ... and im ain't feelin' on top of the world, lemme tell'ya ... and at this point, i dun really care if you have a good friday or not ... bugger-off sunshine