> my aching busted knee

730 and im back from an afternoon of RT, my first "proper" one (not including the orientation-session last time round) and all i can say is: *ouch*t'was a day of mixed reactions and feelings tho. during the run around, i was so badly in shape i nearly puked a coupla times and i swore i saw white stars! the milkyway embedded in my mind (i actually slept it off during training. dun ask. heh) and

> the logistics of dating options for a man in his mid-thirties

there are basically 3 'catergories" for which the adult women in singapore falls into:(A) 30 years old and above(B) 25-30 years old(C) 21-24 years oldCat. Aheterosexual women above 30's are either already married (so that's out, innit?) or if they're still single, they either can't find the man of their dreams (most times they might not even exist) or they hate men. i can attest to the latter.

> this too shall pass

And this too shall passI promise these tears won't lastThis too shall fadeSomething lost, something savedSomething lost, kid, something savedKid by Julia Fordhamlistening to julia fordham in the dead of the night, brought an unnerving calm to an otherwise turbulent mood that plagues me so in these trying times. and i am suddenly grateful for the simpler things in life. for the the fact that they

> shitty midweek, shitty gig, shitty cyberbabble

> blood

sent my sis back off to england at 5am today. and a little piece of me went along with her. with the past coupla years we had grown closer and i dare say she's the closest to a "best friend" as anyone can have and she is my besty!only a coupla weeks+ had gone by since she came back for a holiday (the irony) and it had been way too short. and with a blink of an eye, she's left us again.sitting

> come back to me soon?

i remember the first time we metyou responded immediately to my touchand we were inseperablewe laughed, we cried and we feared togethersharing every single emotion,every single moment we could togetherjust the two of us against the worldyou denied me not when i needed youyou looked at me straight in the eye alwayseven when i'm reading the newspapers or doing my workignoring you totally and

> i know not what i do

> distracted

> of mundaneness part 1

. .. ... .. .... .. .. .. . ... .don't you just hate snowspecks on your clothing?... .. .. . . snowspecks (my term + definition) = are derived from having forgotten tissue and/or scraps/pieces of paper in your pockets (or other clothing items) prior to laundrytime and putting them blindly into the washing machine, thereafters having them pulped to a gazillion-bits and rinsed around

> dazed

walked around in a daze for the rest of mysunday after watching Shinya Tsukamoto's VITAL at 11am. was trying to find words to describe what i had felt for the movie and the only thing i could comeupwith was: "humbled". not "awe" or "excited" or any other exclaimations i had expected and built myself up for ... just simply, "humbled" . it wasn't the typical/usual Shinya-celluloid-deviantness that

> simply incredible

just finished watching the entire 2-disc The Incredibles DVD and im nothing short of being blown away all over again. i remember watching it on the bigscreen and the anticipation prior to that was satisfied beyond measure. and with the behind-the-scenes featured in the dvd i am humbled so. and inspired. and excited. the efforts put into the product, the love and care obviously shown, gives me a

> a name by any other name

found myself thinking alot today. under the weird circumstance that was my first day of RT (Regimental Training. *PUI* - the army) that evetually turned out to be this giantass orientationsession for the duration of the 3 and a half hours that i/we were there! (first day only, im sure... the aches and bodily pains will come soon) and the only sweat that brokeout was basically due to the hot

a night/earlymorning indulgence of comics led me scour the www for more to feed my hunger for allthingscomics and films. and i am rewarded with a new image of the upcoming comicfilm, Ghost Rider's (starring Nickolas Cage *shudder*) Hell Cycle. *drool* and of coz the newlook Bryan Singer helmed Superman Returns. eeeee! whatz with the maroon-boots and cape, man? what the hell were they thinking? ..

> just another friday

i made my own dinner today.*instant noodle ala heng's special spaghetti mix* heh. tastes great too, i insist.nothing too terribly special about that im afraid. i freekin in me mid-thirties, i jolly well should know how to cook, yah? heh. it's only personal significance was that i was starvedlikeshitte and i hadn't had a proper meal the entire time i was awake 24hours earlier. and to add to that,

> still talking about IRs? snippets of nonsense within

.possible news of the future, perhaps?(pure fiction i made up, i insist, so dun complain me leh. heh)for aren't we a nation who runs around in circles? heh.................................................................................................................................No Harm In Trying Your LuckGambling Fever has gripped the nation and its fast becoming the national past time for

> tomorrow.sg

juz launched:"We are just a bunch of Singapore bloggers trying to do bo liao things. Really, this comes from a bloggers dinner we have dunno how long ago, sound like a fun idea and so we just do it. Don't ask us what this is for - we don't know also. Don't ask us what's our agenda - we don't have one (except to bring interesting articles written from bloggers in Singapore together.) And no, we

> my lifestory (or a part of it anyways)

gawd! i am so rusty! tis been a while where i actually haveta draw straightlines and rightangles with a ruler and pen. yearspass when i could churnout documentation and floorplans in a jiff and design came to me on a whim (not arrogance but confidence) but the past decade+ has diluted alla the skills and patience. i remember being tired and impatient with interior design after a year+ in the

> note to myself

> the allmighty

watched Kevin Smith's Dogma last night and surprisingly had a great time.(didn't really like it at all the first time around tho) and thot i'd share a weebit of the script here:.................................................................................................................................INT. AIRPORT - DAYLOKI walks beside a NUN in a semi-busy terminal. They pass through the

> really?

i really should be spending less time online.i really should cut down reading other peeps' blogs.i really should try to cut back on puking my own thots out here online.i really should abstain and go coldcyberturkey.i really should be trying to make a living.i really really should ...i will try ...and with my last cup of icedcheekycheeryade,i still dun feel that much cheekier than before...damn.

> a culture of dollars in a game of chance

and in the end we have to resort to gambling, to attract the crowds.reading about the approval of not 1 but 2 casino developments brought only a silent sigh from me. i suppose it is but a natural evolution from government-authorized gambling opportunities like toto, 4-D and the sweeps to a full-blown casino environment. heh. and in order to adapt to the new world and pace we must open casinos,

> of religion and divine dreams

reactions from XiaXue's blog about her post on religion, more specifically "errant evangelising" (the most PC reference i can come up with at 1:10am blogging here instead of doing my REAL job ... daymn.). and while i both agree and disagree with a lotta her points, maybe all i'll do here is to share a personal story which not many people (only the closest) outside of my family knows about ...i

> the war wages on in the land of the sleep eternal

> WANTED

> a cheeky man was i?

9pm and my sunday is basically near an end. slept til near 3ish and by the time i was "ready" for action, t'was near 5+. and that's about it. didn't leave the house. didn't leave my tomb of sanctuary either. only thing i did was to go out and buy meself somemore ciggies and a bottle of cheeky cherryade as a treat for meself. hahaha an insane thot went thru my brain: mayhaps i was trying to find

> the stupidity of the military and of myself and the happiness of movies to come

back home at 830am head shaking uncontrollably (of coz i exaggerate) at the inaneness of the army. waking up at 630am on a sunday morning is already a crime and making my way to the RT-camp (wasting a total of $14 to and fro by taxi?), heartbeating like a crazyfuck, to be told upon in-proccessing that my dates were wrong? it should be this coming saturday instead? WHATDAFLYINGFUCK? why the fuck

> tossin n turnin

> the rollercoaster purge continues

> saTURDay

a saturday of blurred days red bean soup comforts drowning in dub / games of fortune my mistress nicotine ashes of the past china cookies / and silent family crawling time.telling myself: itz just another saturday. of many more saturdays to come.

> anonymity be damned

> walk on thru the gardenmaze of life

> the end of all things

> a halfhour's worth of delirious and desperate anger

> a hollowed man with dreams of yesterdays

/i am reminded of an old buddhist belief that when a person commits suicide, he/she will be punished in the afterlife by reliving that singular moment over and over and over again for all eternity, without knowing or remembering. in a perverse way, sorta like the movie groundhogday (but with no reprieve). i don't want to feel like that. of coz the parrallel of my life is hardly sufficiant to

> my hands are empty

grasping at intangible straws of memories of happier times past burning still on the tips swaying frantically in the storm winds threatening to blow them all away every last straw filling the skies with their sparkle and brightness lighting up the night skies one final time but in the end my hands are emptya silent whisper and all is lost among millions of whispers that clutter the subconscious

> duality

> the life dealt you

> a new page dawns

and it is with OSX where i can finally access my gawdamned-multiply once more! DAYMN!and yet again a frenzy of uploading pictures begins and my latest offering?The Strange Sleeping Stance Of My Cat Mao. heh :pand yes, i can finally begin to upload my portfolio once more and that makes me a smiling (relieved too no doubt) and happy man.but what is it with the grudging upgrading of allthings? WHY

> into the groove

music filling the tiny space that is my bedroom and now workroom,stacks of visual reference piled high beside my trustycrustyMac(with a silent G4 sitting beside her, waiting to be revived)sketchdoodlinging on an old '96designforumpad wif a blunt4Bpencilrendered with driedup copicmarkers; i fuss and i scream obscenitiesintheair, a sudden franticpanic race-against-time to start/finish a newgig i've

> girls meet jazz

i originally previewed this trailer (found on japanese apple trailer website) on my multiply and had hoped that this might make it to our shores (not too artsy, commercial cuteness ala "Waterboys") and was mildly thrilled when it finally appeared on our screens here (kudos to Cathay for bringing us this lil gem!)juz caught Swing Girls today wif my beloved and i must say, t'was a purdy-farnie

> comics are good for you = the writers

3o’clock on a rainy lazy Saturday afternoon, barely lucid from an all-nighter tail-end of a 2day-diahorrea-bad-trip, legs wobbly and chocolate starfish turning rancid-red I plonk myself upon my crusty bed and wade thru the stacks of brilliant comics I have been cataloging the past few days and begun yet again another lonely but eventful night of disappearing into my drug: comics. Wonderful

> ye sins of man

and of coz it hadda be me reading the SundayTimes on a monday morning at 1am in the middle of yet another squatcrapper (welcome to my life) when amidst laughing at michelle goh’s emailinterview (she was more sultry and sexy AFTER meepokman, personally spanking, eerrr - "speaking"). the chocobombings stopped in midflight when i read about the seven deadly sins of Singaporeans!and if ya hadn’t read

> how my sunday went down in flames

> staying afloat

in the downpour of a lazy hazy sunday afternoon as the clock blips to a 3:13pm the sudden feeling of impotency to happiness and love washes over my dull thoughts and i find myself sitting alone again helpless and lost to humanity and selfpreservation. words starting to trickle down my nerves and i worry so. i write more when i am in a rut. i write more when im down. i write more when im feeling

> the muteking speakth naught

a crescendo of screams fills up the pause between sentences flooding the subconscious with an endlessecho of black clanging of the crackedbell perched dangling from a rustyring atop a crumbling cathedral built on false promises and fake prophets of doom mouthing eternal love and devotion emptied words hollowed echoes reverberating down the halls of shadowfootsteps realizing once again tis not a

> a dream's breath

like a overripe melon burst filling the dusty tarmac of time with so much brainjuice my consciousness is a thing of the past.. a faint figment of a sweet dream since awoken to the harsh cold reality of the now.. the facts that linger in the air like a poisoned haze blurring all subconscious and numbing all intents and emotions holding the barely pounding heart hostage.. tiedup with driedup